Resistance: Is It a Roadblock or Simply Not Your Path?
The block might feel like fear, confusion, lethargy or overwhelm.
You might even feel resentment at how much work this new direction seems to require.
When you feel resistance to positive change, how do you uncover the truth of the situation? How do you determine if what's stopping you is a reluctant part of yourself that needs healing, or is a signal to stop pushing yourself because this direction is not yours to take? The simplest solution is to just drop the idea and get curious about what happens next.
Do you feel relief, a painful sense of loss, or do you discover a part that refuses to quit? Back in the 90's I talked with a spiritual teacher about my longing to teach and my inability to be comfortable in front of large groups.
He gave me total support to stop trying to teach.
He said, "Your brain may not work that way.
That was the case for me, and now I focus on private sessions and small groups.
" Yet, even with his blessing, something in me would simply not give up my dream to teach.
Now I can recognize that there was a strong part of me that was called to teaching, to help others "fit all the pieces of the puzzle together" so that a clear path forward opens up in front of them.
Now that I understand that this is part of my purpose, I can relax into the joy of serving in a way that expresses my passion.
Since this method of "just try dropping it" is the easiest way to resolve an inner push-pull, I recommend trying it first.
Another way out of this push-pull dilemma is to identify the various parts of you that are resisting the calling of your heart.
Take some time to get to know them and understand their concerns.
What do they want and need to be able to relax? Try generating some practical solutions to move things forward.
If there's fear of failure you might consider scheduling time with a mentor or taking a class to be better prepared for what's next.
You might break your idea down into simpler steps, each with a greater chance of success.
If a part of you is afraid of being rejected, find at least 3 people who support you and believe in what you want to do.
Not every concern looks like a fear.
Sometimes a part will block your evolution in order that you not lose touch with your values as your capacity expands.
I had a concern that I would get too full of myself if I regularly served large groups, so one of my agreements with myself was that I would check in with my heart on a daily basis.
I have a daily alert set up in my email to remind me to do exactly that, and it helps me keep on course.
Finally, this new direction of yours will never get traction if there isn't at least one part of you championing it.
If all you can find within yourself are resistant emotions or even boredom and there isn't any excitement in the mix, chances are it's not yours to do.
Take a moment to reflect on your areas of resistance - are they roadblocks, or indicators that you are not on the right path?